


Is This Okay?

by carolcbp



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Space Wives, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 15:23:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16997544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolcbp/pseuds/carolcbp
Summary: After facing a tragedy as they run from a fleet of Daleks, the Doctor and Yaz  confront each other and are finally honest about their feelings.





	Is This Okay?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like this oneshot. Wating for my space girlfriends to come back next year. Comments are always welcomed!

The spaceship was about to blow up with an entire fleet of Daleks inside.  That wouldn’t be a problem if the Doctor, her companions and Untrax- a young Malmooth they’d find on the way- hadn’t been stuck with them.

“Run!”, said the Doctor, holding Yaz’s hand and rushing to the TARDIS.

They all ran amid the fire that was spreading everywhere; what once was a very advanced ship, was quickly becoming debris.

“My ghost monument!”, the Doctor said when they could finally see the blue box, just a few meters away. The feeling of relief was so overwhelming they didn’t notice when a Dalek appeared in a corridor next to them.

-EXTERMINATE!- The Dalek fired a beam, almost hitting Graham in the head.

“Oy! Don’t use me as a target!”

“Yeah, he’s my granddad!”, Ryan screamed at the alien.

“Come down, son. I got it the first time”, Graham held his nephew back, not wanting him dead.

They retreated and found shelter behind a wall. There seemed to be no way out. They only had to cross that corridor to get to their ship, but someone would most certainly be killed in the process.

“What do we do?”, Yaz asked, looking at the Doctor. She seemed scared, and Yaz new that meant really bad news . To be honest, she was terrified herself, but she trusted the Doctor with her life, and so did Ryan and Graham.

“I’m thinking! C’mon… C’mon!”, was her only reply.

The answer, however, came from someone no one expected.

“Chan- I know- tho”, Untrax said. The other four turned their heads to look at him. “Chan- You go ahead, I’ll delay him- tho.”

No one dared to say a word. Untrax had lost his entire family to the Daleks, they were coldly murdered in a matter of minutes, and now the ultimate sacrifice.

“Chan- Go- tho!”

“You don’t have to do this, I’ll think of something”, said the Doctor, but in that exact moment they heard the Daleks coming from behind, they were close.

“Chan-There’s no time! And I’ll see my family again- tho!”

The Doctor was speechless, and so were Graham and Ryan. But Yaz, the police officer, the most positive one, couldn’t stand there and not do anything.

“No! You can’t do that! Right, Doctor?”

…

“Right?!”

No one would be left behind, Yaz was sure of that. That’s how things worked so far, the Doctor saved everyone. When people needed help, she never refused, and now Untrax needed her and she wasn’t moving a muscle.

“Let’s go, Yaz”, the Doctor held out her hand for the other girl.

“We can’t…”

“Yes, we can. Let’s go!”

Untrax seemed to be in peace with his decision, but not Yaz.

“There has to be another way out!”

“I’m so sorry for this”, in a quick move, the Doctor pressed her finger to Yaz’s neck and the girl fell unconsciously into her arms.

“You killed her?!”, screamed, Ryan.

“No, I didn’t! Help me with her, we have no time!”, she said and Ryan immediately picked her up. “A few months ago, I would’ve done it myself.”

-EXTERMINATE!- they were closer and closer.

“Untrax, I’ll remember you, I promise”, said the Doctor.

“Chan- thank you- tho.”

They ran through the corridor with Untrax leading them. The Dalek was waiting, but the young Malmooth ran towards him, blocking his view from his friends. The Doctor and her companions had just crossed the corridor and reached the TARDIS when they heard the beam being fired and something collapsing on the floor. They entered the ship without looking back, Ryan still holding Yaz in his arms.

“Get us out of here”, the Doctor said pulling the lever forward, and the TARDIS made those soothing noises, dematerializing  from the crashing ship.  

***

Yaz woke up tucked in her bed. Her head was pounding as she tried to remember what happened, but her memory was a blur. They were in a ship, and it definitely wasn’t the TARDIS… It was crashing… She looked around, everything seemed peaceful. Then, what… Daleks! She remembered the Daleks, those awful creatures. How did they get out? Last thing she remembers they were pretty screwed.

She got up, losing her balance for a moment. There was definitely something missing, something she couldn’t remember. The TARDIS made her usual noise, almost as if breathing, which always comforted Yaz. She had to talk to the Doctor, so she moved  and pulled her hand to the door knob, then it hit her. The memory of Untrax being left behind and the Doctor not doing anything to help. Untrax died to save them and the Doctor let it happen! It disgusted her. She opened the door in one quick move. Her bare feet were cold against the floor as she headed to the control room.

When she got there, Ryan and Graham were leaning on the wall, talking, and the Doctor was leaning on the console, checking something in the monitor.

“Doctor”, she said and they all jumped.

“You’re up!”, the Doctor said, with an almost believable smile.

“I thought you were dead”, Ryan said, with a genuine smile.

Graham stood still between the three of them, noticing the change in the mood.

“Can we talk?”, Yaz said and the Doctor didn’t seem in the least surprised.

“C’mon, let’s make some tea, son”, Graham pushed a very confused Ryan out of their way.

“How’s your head? I didn’t mean to do that”, the Doctor apologized, sort of.

“Fine.”

Neither of them said a word, but Yaz was clearly distressed. The young girl was looking straight into her eyes, but that didn’t scared her off, the Doctor was looking right back into hers.

“You wanted to talk, go ahead.”

“You know what I’m going to say.”

“I do, but I can’t take the words out of your mouth, they’re yours.”

Yaz came closer, standing right in front of the Doctor.

“You had no right to let him die.”

The Doctor didn’t flinch upon hearing those words.  

“It was his choice.”

“What sort of a choice is suicide?”

“He saved us. You would’ve been long dead if it wasn’t for him and there was nothing we could do”, the Doctor said, looking away.

Yaz backed off a few steps. That woman, that incredible woman she met months before, where did she go? Because the one standing in front of her was someone else.

“Then what’s the point of you?”, Yaz said before she could stop herself.

At that moment, the Doctor looked at her and Yaz was scared. Her eyes were full of anger, something she’d never seen before.

“You really think I don’t care? I would have died myself but then you’d be stuck in that ship!”, she said, her face inches apart from Yaz’s. “If you know a way we could’ve got out of there unharmed, be my guest! But hey! That was on me! But I don’t remember anyone trying to come up with a better solution!”

Those words hit Yaz like a train, and she immediately regretted being mad at her. There was pain, and unbelievable amount of pain in her eyes. And she realized that the happy go lucky Doctor, maybe- just maybe- was just a façade. As she stood there speechless, the Doctor turned her back to her and walked to the front door, opening them. They were floating aimlessly through the stars. The universe doesn’t stop for you to mourn.

“Doctor?”, Yaz approached her.

They stood in silent for a few minutes, just looking to the vastness beyond them.

“I’m sorry”, Yaz finally said. “I didn’t mean that, I swear.”

“I know”, she sighed. “I’m sorry too.”

“For what?”

“Not doing enough.”

All the anger was gone and Yaz was left with an immense feeling of guilt.

“It wasn’t on you. Sometimes I see you as a hero or something…”

“I’m not a hero”, the Doctor cut her midway through.

“I know... Untrax was, though. It was his choice, I get it. But I just feel so…”

“Powerless? Welcome to my world.”

As Yaz didn’t say anything, the Doctor kept going.

“I always try to save people, but usually it’s the other way around.”

“You’re not talking about Untrax, are you?”, Yaz asked, noticing something in her voice.

The Doctor looked at her own feet, almost as if avoiding the question, but Yaz waited, she would always wait for her.

“River did the same thing, years ago…”

“River?”

“My wife.”

If Yaz had been drinking tea, she would’ve properly choked.

“You’re married?!”

“Yes... Sort of... I mean… We’re not exclusive and… Uhm, I haven’t seen her in ages… She’ll probably  go nuts when she sees me like this… No, she’ll definitely go nuts…  But yes, we’re merried… Technically.”

Yaz could swear the Doctor was blushing, although she would downright deny it if she brought that up.

“She saved me. I saved her too, but in a different way, she died nonetheless.”

“I’m sorry. For everything, I shouldn’t have said those things.”

Without any of them noticing, their hands came closer together and were brushing against each other. The heat radiating from the Doctor’s fingers were coming up Yaz’s arms, making her quiver. As they avoided eye contact, their fingers slowly intertwined.

“You’re the best person I ever met”, Yaz continued, her voice key an octave lower.

“You haven’t met many people, then”, the Doctor said, laughing lightly, but soon it turned it a proper uncontrollable laugh. Yaz leaned against the door stop, trying to catch her breath, as the Doctor did the same. The mood had changed completely and when they finally gathered themselves, they were inches apart. Yaz, feeling her breath in her face, glanced at her lips, which did not go unnoticed by the Doctor. The time lady moved forward a few inches, waiting for the other girl to push her back.

“So, when you said you’re not exclusive…”, it was the only thing it took for the Doctor to close the gap between them and press their lips together. The first kiss was chaste and none of them build up the courage to touch the other, so the Doctor soon moved back.

Yaz stood speechless and, not knowing what else to do, closed the gap again for a second kiss. The Doctor reciprocated when the girl opened her mouth, holding her by the waist. Yaz brought her own hands to her neck, feeling her hair with her fingertips.  She’d thought about that a few times, but never had the guts to do anything about it. It was even better, the Doctor smelled of a mixture of engine oil and Earl Grey tea. And her touch… Her touch on her waist was so firm and confident held her back against the door stop as their bodies came closer and pressed against each other.

The Doctor pulled back a second time, but not much as Yaz could still feel her breath. Their hand stood in the exactly same place.

“Was that okay?”, the Doctor asked, breathless.

“What? Oh, yeah, it was”, Yaz replied still a bit dizzy.

The Doctor stepped back, losing her hold on Yaz’s waist. But they didn’t look away, not anymore, and so Yaz noticed the sad looking in the time lady’s expression.

“This won’t end well”, the Doctor said.

“How do you know?”

“It never does. Everyone I love ends up dead… Or stuck in a parallel dimension.”

“I can take care of myself, don’t worry.”

The Doctor smiled at those words.

“PC Khan, was it?”

They didn’t move while the TARDIS kept floating, so the stood watching the universe outside and didn’t notice Graham and Ryan picking through the corridor’s wall.

“C’mon, time to get that tea for real”, Graham said pushing Ryan away.


End file.
